Weight Loss :)

Feeling pretty good with keeping things positive :)
There was a brief moment in September where I felt like I hated myself. I just felt so negative. I felt bad for Jeff--but he's amazing and understood. He just keeps telling me that he knows I'm going through a difficult time and that I just need to focus on the good. I am definitely trying and it feels great! :)

I started a diet with my parents last Friday. It's quite restrictive but I feel really good so far. And the motivation I get from Jeff and my parents is amazing! I keep telling myself one step at a time. Step one is weight loss! I want to get as healthy as I possibly can. I am going to focus all my energy on that and not worry about babies. Because worrying does nothing for you, except give you wrinkles, sleepless nights and heart palpitations lol 

Obviously this kind of thinking doesn't work every single day. Everyone has their ups and downs. I am just hoping for more ups! :)

In either case--I am technically 2 days into my weight loss journey (as the first 3 days were "loading") and am already down 3.4 pounds. Amazing i know ;) and I know with the support I am getting from everyone I will continue to do well. Once I reach my weight loss/health goal I will start working on step 2--which will be me getting my hormone levels retested and trying to work on increasing my AMH (of course I have read that weight loss will increase AMH, even though drs will try and tell you increasing it is impossible. excuse me Dr--but nothing is impossible!) Obviously if my hormone levels don't get better we will begin more research into adoption and donor egg programs. And currently we have a fund going for a baby :)

We have been saving for our wedding and then whatever else we can spare goes to our Baby Fund :) I know it seems odd to put the majority of our money towards our wedding and not baby, but our rational is this--1.) in order to adopt you should at least be married for a year (most foreign places like 5 years and up, some places like Russia want you to be married for at least 10 years!) and 2.) if the baby thing falls through i want to at least have nice memories from a great wedding, marrying the man of my dreams and best friend. 

One thing at a time!! For right now I am slowly chugging along with Step 1! :)